An Insomniac's Theology

I know that many of our church family suffer from chronic insomnia in degrees worse than I've ever experienced. So I tell the following not because my sleeplessness is major or the worst case in the church. Nor do I air my troubles to gain any sympathy - I really don't want that. But I share it because of a lesson learned.

For most of my life, my encounters with insomnia have been sparse and almost always identifiable to particular stress or overconsumption of caffeine. But it was not nightly. Until this year. Slowly, over the course of this year, sleep was getting harder and harder to come by. I hate taking pills, but I resorted to OTC sleep aids, and then prescription. They helped me sleep more, but never generated the really restful kind of sleep.

What I didn't notice was that as the insomnia slowly grew worse, so did my attitude. My temper grew shorter, my countenance became more and more gray, my enthusiasm for many things waned. The change was slow enough that I wasn't fully aware of it. But Lynne, and likely others, were.

When I started getting more sleep from the sleep aids, even though my sleep wasn't great, it was good enough to where my attitude and enthusiasm began to recover in significant ways. I was amazed at how much better I was feeling (because I wasn't really aware of how nasty I was feeling throughout). But Lynne noticed a big change, and gently explained to me how sleeplessness had been affecting me.

The lesson from this for me is that "little sins" work the exact same way. Their effect on our lives is insidious and slow. We are often blind to the impact they have on us. It's not until something jars us, or until a trusted Christian brother or sister honestly tells us, that we realize the slow decline we have suffered.

First, do not be deceived. "Little sins" eat away at your soul, and because of their stealth capabilities, are perhaps more dangerous than "really big sins." Second, be that honest, trusted brother or sister for one another. Not a judge, not a harping nag, but a true friend who lovingly acts for the good. I wouldn't bother with explaining how the sin is sin (we usually already know that), but how you see sin affecting your friend, and how that sin affects you.

Scripture encourages us to be jealous for one another's righteousness. (Matt 18:15; Gal 6:1; 2 Thess 3:15; James 5:19). Realize that we are often blind to the insidious effects of our own sin, and we need someone to "wake us up." But above all, put on love (Col 3:14). Love must be first and last when we work together for holiness.

We are trying a few theories to restore natural sleep, and seeing some success. I imagine sweeping out the "little sins" of our lives requires the same kind of ongoing diligence and attention.